The Noisy Fan

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39 (NIV)

Over the summer, my husband determined that he needs a fan blowing in our room in order to get a good night’s sleep. Whether the gentle hum or the relief from heat, he’s not sure why he needs it. I think he needs a new mattress. But since the fan was less than twenty dollars and paid for years ago, it fits the budget.

At the same time of my husband’s fan discovery, my seven year old son also began having difficulty sleeping. Generally, when Brennan can’t sleep, I am awakened by a quiet whisper of “Mom” that only a Mommy’s ears are tuned to hear. But this one particular summer night, I awoke to a short, dark figure hovering silently over the side of my bed. Startled into semi-alertness, I asked what was wrong. “I called you as loud as I could and you didn’t come!” Apparently the gentle hum of my husband’s fan was just what I needed to assure a good night's sleep too. It drowns out all sounds of children calling. As he crawled up into my arms, tears rolled down his face and he cried out “I thought nobody cared about me!” After a moment of reassurance, I tucked Brennan back into his bed with a kiss and a squeeze. A reminder of my love and presence was all he needed to rest secure for the rest of the night.

As I returned to my own bed, I thought how often I’ve felt that same way with God. I cry out and cry out until I can’t call any louder. When I don’t hear or see God respond I think, “Nobody cares! God, do you still love me? Do you care that I feel all alone?"

Just because we can’t see his presence or hear his response doesn’t mean He isn’t there or He doesn’t care. He’s right there, surrounding us with His love. Often He’s working on our behalf in unseen ways.

So, if you’re feeling all alone and can’t seem to cry out any louder, know that He is there. And just as I told my son with his final kiss and squeeze, God wants you to know, “I’ll always care about you. I’ll always love you.” Nothing can separate you from the love of God, not even a noisy fan. Rest in that knowledge.

Back to School

“Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children.”
Titus 2:3-4 (NIV)

It’s been so long since I’ve taken the time to sit down and write. I intended to keep blogging throughout the summer. I also intended to take my kids to the pool at least four days a week and visit several Smithsonian museums. My summer, however, had different plans for me. Surgery, attending a conference and sickness took over. I’m just beginning to recover from a crazy summer. But a new season is upon us and my old plan of posting once a week is back in force. I even have some new ideas and can’t wait to share them with you. But for today, I simply want to share with you what has been on my heart for the last couple of weeks.

Last week was the first week of school for the Bennett household. Lauren and Brennan are entering 5th and 2nd grades. It’s an interesting time of year. For most kids it’s faced with groans and sorrow. Gone are the days of swimming, sleeping in and endless play dates. All are replaced with early morning alarm clocks, homework and tests. Parents on the other hand tend to welcome school with glee. I recently saw an advertisement for an office supply store. Two children stood slouching with mournful faces while their father sailed behind them atop his shopping cart, leg kicked up behind him, smiling ear to ear, all while “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” played in the background. The message was clear. Parents can’t wait to send our kids back to school. I have to admit, in the past I’ve felt the same. No more entertaining, less fights to mediate and a quiet cup of coffee in the morning. Ahhhhh! But this year was different. Although my unorganized side craved the structure of school routine, my Mommy side was not looking forward to days of empty quietness.

What brought on this change of heart? I’m not exactly sure. It doesn’t really matter to me. What does matter is that the change took place. I’ve taken heed to the many older moms who have told me to “Enjoy your little ones now. They’ll be grown before you know it.” It’s not that I haven’t enjoyed my children, but I have let the “duties” of motherhood steel some of the joy. I love my children and want to enjoy every phase and moment of their lives. (We’ll see how I feel when they hit the teenage years.)

So, thank you to the many moms who have encouraged me to be a mother who loves every season of child rearing, even summer. I’m sure I’ll be coming to you for more encouragement, especially as my children approach their teens. And to you who have little ones, I leave you with one word of advice. Enjoy your little ones now. They’ll be grown before you know it.